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About Mullah Nasruddin

Every year Nasruddin's day is celebrated in Turkey with great pomp and show. The age in which he lived is not exactly known. There are even doubts about the country of his birth. Iranians claim that he was from Iran. The Turks have their own claim. The latest claim is that of the Russians who say that he was born in Bukhara, Uzbekistan. But he is said to be buried in Turkey. Whatever Nasruddin's place of birth and nationality might have been, the fact remains that his anecdotes are famous all over the world.Several Volumes of stories about Nasruddin (also called Nasiruddin) have been published in England. His stories have been published in Urdu and Pashto languages too; they are often repeated by the people. The stories of Nasruddin are popular because they deal with experiences of day-to-day life. He had been a tailor, a merchant, a doctor, a judge or a farmer, and he had traveled widely. Some of his stories, while narrating a funny situation describe a fact and serve as an advice for people.

J O K E S

A sleepless night		Catching fish
One night Nasruddin went out of his house at midnight and was walking in the streets. The street guard asked him, "What are you doing?" He answered. "I hope you won’t suffer from the disease. This evening I couldn’t fall asleep. It is for the last several hours that I am walking to find it but I am not able to do so.		Nasruddin was busy catching fish on the bank of a spring. He was putting the fish caught in a basket. The boys of the village who found him busy, were picking up two of there fish and were running away. Nasruddin didn’t pay any attention to them and was busy with his work. After sometime he became tired and wanted to go home. When he looked at the basket, he couldn’t see any fish in it. He addressed the spring and said. "You see, I am going empty handed the way I came here. Thus I am not obliged to you". Later he threw the basket in the spring and said. "Take it, it is also for you"
A meandering way		Savings
Some one stole Nasruddin’s one thousand Dinnars. He went to the mosque and prostrated before God Almighty so as to get his money back. Incidentally, the cargo of one of the merchant also got caught in the storm. The merchant distributed alms so that Almighty God save his cargo. In that case he promised to give one thousand Dinars to Nasruddin. After sometime the cargo reached safely. The merchant gave one thousand Dinars to Nasruddin as promised. Nasruddin remarked, "God is great! If I were to give one thousand Dinars to the astrologer he would not be able to determine that my money would come through such meandering way."		Once Nasruddin went broke. He thought he should save some money. He decided to reduce the amount of barley he was giving to his donkey. He was reducing a handful every day. But there was no significant difference observed in the body size of the donkey. He tried to reduce the ration gradually. Consequently, the donkey lost its weight and became very weak. One day the donkey died. When Nasruddin observed this situation, he commented. "You had gotten used to bearing pains, I regret that death didn’t allow you to continue.
Nasruddin's fast riding		Joke
In a gathering, people were talking about fast riding and cleverness. Every one would explain about an incident, which indicated that the person was active and clever. It was Nasruddin’s turn now. He said, "In the past I was very clever and quick. Once some people brought a very wicked and restive horse to the field. It would around the horse." (Meanwhile two of Nasruddin’s friends who know about the same story arrived). Nasruddin concluded his story with these words. "Though I encouraged myself very much. I couldn’t go nearer		One summer night when Nasruddin was sleeping on the rooftop he turned over and feel down on the ground. As a result he broke his arm and leg. When friends inquired about his health. Nasruddin said. "If you want to know exactly what happened, try to throw yourself from the roof"
Nasruddin's pelisse		A logical reason
Nasruddin always sat beside the lire wearing a plesse. While taking it off, he would tie the top portion and then hang it. some one asked the reason. He answered, "I want the warm air to remain inside. This procedure will make it unnecessary to make lire again."		He was carrying two baskets of grapes at the back of his donkey to the city. The youngesters of the region caught him and asked. "Don't you give us grapes?" Nasruddin looked at the crowd and thought if he give one bunch to each one, nothing would remain." Thus he picked one bunch and distributed two pips to each one and said, "Since it is just for tasting, one pip is just like one bunch and it makes no difference wheather the amount is small or big."

Nasruddin's will		No need to come
Nasruddin advised his friends not to make his grave from stones and bricks. They asked, "Why!" he answered. "On the day of resurrection when I stand up, I shouldn’t feel heavy."		Nasruddin's wife developed a severe abdominal pain. He left his house to bring a doctor. When he was in the street, his wife called him through the window and said that her stomach pain disappeared and there is no need for the doctor. Nasruddin didn't listen to her and went to the doctor's house and told him, "My wife had a severe abdominal pain. While I was coming to call you, my wife shouted through the window and said that her pain subsided and there was no need to bring the doctor, therefore, I came to inform you that there is no need for you to come.
Pack-saddle instead of overcoat		Accomplishing duty
Once Nasruddin was passing through a desert along with his donkey. He needed to make an ablution. He took off his overcoat, put it on the back of his donkey and went towards a stream to make ablution. A thief was passing by. He stole the overcoat. On return Nasruddin couldn't see the overcoat, instead, he took the saddle-pack on his shoulder and addressed the donkey, "Whenever you return my overcoat, i will give you your saddle-pack".		Nasruddin was busy planting saplings. A passer – by asked him, "With what hope do you plant these trees! How many years more you think you will live to pluck the fruit of these trees?" Nasruddin said with much dignity, "you fool! Others planted, we ate the fruit, we plant and hope the others will eat.
Nasruddin's fast riding		Joke
In a gathering, people were talking about fast riding and cleverness. Every one would explain about an incident, which indicated that the person was active and clever. It was Nasruddin’s turn now. He said, "In the past I was very clever and quick. Once some people brought a very wicked and restive horse to the field. It would around the horse." (Meanwhile two of Nasruddin’s friends who know about the same story arrived). Nasruddin concluded his story with these words. "Though I encouraged myself very much. I couldn’t go nearer		One summer night when Nasruddin was sleeping on the rooftop he turned over and feel down on the ground. As a result he broke his arm and leg. When friends inquired about his health. Nasruddin said. "If you want to know exactly what happened, try to throw yourself from the roof"
Ate nothing		Cold and warm bath
One day while strong wind was blowing, Nasruddin was passing through a desert on the camel. On the way he took out a handful of roasted peas and wanted to put it in his mouth. But the strong wind didn’t allow him to do so and blew it away. His co-travelers asked him what was he eating. Nasruddin answered. "If it continues this way, I eat nothing"		Once, when Nasruddin came home from a desert, his wife told him. "Please go to the bath and return soon because we have to attend the wedding ceremony of my sister today and you should do the duties of father." Nasruddin went to a warm public bath, took bath in hurry and came out. On the way it was raining heavily. He guessed it was not going to stop soon so he took his clothes off and held them under his armpits. He arrived naked at the place of marriage. The family members who were waiting eagerly for Nasruddin saw him coming with the rain naked. They asked him what was happening. "Any one who does not go to the bath at the right moment, he will have to take both warm and cold bath."

A pair of tongs		Buying a flute
A person brought his sword to the bazaar for sale. The prince was told to be 3000 Dinars. Nasruddin asked the reason for its high price. They said "During the attach on the enemy it outreaches five meters longs than its original layout. Later Nasruddin picked up a pair of tongs from the house took it to the bazaar and shouted, "I sell this pair of tongs for 3000 Dinars." People gathered and asked, "Why do you charge 3000 Dinars for this while the actual price is just 0.5 Dinars?" He answered "You have fixed the price of a sward which stretches five meters to be 3000. Every time my wife quarrels with me, she throws the tongs at me from a distance of then meters far. Doesn’t it worth 3000 Dinars?"		Nasruddin was passing by a group of boys in a street. The boys requested him to buy wooden flutes for them. Nasruddin promised to do so. Among them one of the boys paid the price of a flute ahead. Nasruddin promised to buy one of him too. In the evening the boys were waiting for Nasruddin to come and asked him weather he had bought flutes or not. Nasruddin took out a flute and gave it to the boy who had already paid the money and told the others that playing flute was good only for rich boys.
The size of the world		Joke
Once a crowd of people stood on his way and asked, "How many meters is the whole world?" Before Nasruddin’s answer a funeral passed by. Nasruddin pointed at the coffin and said "Please ask this question from the person who has measured the world and is now going.		People asked Nasruddin, "How long will the human live on the earth? "He answered, "Till the heaven and the hell are full.
Man's answer is one only		In the shadow of clouds
Once Nasruddin was asked about his age. He answered, "Forty years" After ten years he was asked again. He answered, "Forty years" People said, "Ten years ago you were saying forty years. Now you again say forty years." Nasruddin answered, "Man's answer is only one. Even if you ask after twenty years I will give the same answer".		Once he was digging pits in a desert. A person asked him, "What are you doing?" "I have hidden some money in this desert. Now that I try to find it, I can not." answered Nasruddin. That man said, "But you didn’t put any sign on it, did you?" Nasruddin answered, "When I was burying the money a mass of cloud was casting its shadow on it, but now I don’t know where the shadow is?"
The benefit of moon		His divorced mother
Nasruddin was asked whether the sun was more beneficial or the moon. Nasruddin answered, "The answer is so clear that does not need explanation. The sun rises in the bright day. Its presence is not very useful. But the moon appears in the dark nights. It illuminates the darkness of the night. It is quite obvious that the moon is a thousand times more advantageous as compared to the sun".		Nasruddin went to a city and fell sick there. Those people who had come to inquire about his health asked him, "God forbid, if you die, who will be your heir?" Nasruddin said, "I have only one mother who was divorced by my father in the last days of his life. It shows that I don’t have a heir."

Should have a value		Nasruddin's letter
It is said that whatever Nasruddin was requested to lend he would have given it the next day. Some one asked him what the reason for doing so was. He said, "I want nothing to become worthless."		A man came to Nasruddin and requested him to write a letter to his friend in Baghdad. Nasruddin told him not to bother him because he did not have time to go to Baghdad. The man couldn’t get what Nasruddin told him. He said, "I didn’t tell you to go to Baghdad but just requested you to write me a letter so that I send it to my friend in Baghdad." Nasruddin told him, "don’t be surprised! Since my hand writing a awful, the only person who is able to read my hand-writing is myself. If I write a letter on your behalf, I will have to go with the letter to Baghdad to read it.
Inside and outside		Delicious food
Once Nasruddin took his donkey to the bazaar and gave it to a broker to sell. He himself stood at a corner and was watching the scene. The broker started describing the donkey by saying "This donkey which is for sale is a very young and fast one. Any one who buys this will be fully satisfied. Nasruddin told to himself. "If my donkey is so good why shouldn’t I buy it myself?" He went to the broker, fixed the price and bought the donkey. He took the donkey home and told the story to his wife. His wife told him, "I also did a very good business. When the milk man came and was busy weighing milk, I deviated his attention and put my bracelet in the weight pan. Equal to the weight of the bracelet I got more milk." When Nasruddin heard of her cleverness, he said, "God Almighty bless you. You try from inside and I will from outside so that the daily expenses of the family are easily met."		Nasruddin bought a whole liver and was gong home. On the way a friend run into him. When his friend saw the liver, he asked him, " How are you going to cook it?" Nasruddin said, "Roast it" His friend told him, "If you cook it my way it will be very delicious. Nasruddin requested the man to write the recipe on a piece of paper because he didn’t possess a good memory. His friend did so. When Nasruddin arrived at home, he put the liver on a side to prepare other things according to the recipe. Incidentally a crow came and snatched the liver. When Nasruddin found himself helpless, he holding the recipe in his hand said, "At least you should have taken the recipe too. Your meal would have been more delicious!"
Donkey for sale		Is it me or him
Once Nasruddin took his donkey to bazaar to sell it. If a customer came from the front, the donkey would open its mouth and bite him and if from behind it would kick him. A person told Nasruddin, "Due to this fault no one will buy the donkey. "n answered, "My intention is also not selling the donkey. I actually want peoples what this donkey does to me."		Nasruddin was to take a long trip. He made a hole in a pumpkin shell and hanged it around his neck so that he is not lost. One night, while he was sleeping, a jolly man removed the pumpkin from his neck and put it in his own. When Nasruddin woke up, he saw the pumpkin in the other person's neck. "I am sure i am this person. If so, who am I myself?" He asked.
Seven years old vinegar		His lost donkey
A person came to Nasruddin and said, "I heard you have seven years old vinegar, Is it true?" Nasruddin answered, "Yes" The person requested Nasruddin to give him a bowl of that vinegar. Nasruddin answered, "If I were to give it to every one, it would not have lasted so long."		Nasruddin lost his donkey. He was looking for it in the streets and at the same time thanking God Almighty. Some one asked him, "What are you thanking God for?" "Because if i were with the donkey, I would have been lost too. A third person was needed to look for both me and the donkey" he answered.

Lake of etiquettes		Because of lack of time
Nasruddin went to a judge’s office to divorce his wife. The judge asked him, "What is your wife’s name?" He answered. "I don’t know." "For how many years have you remained as spouses?" The judge asked again. He said "More than 20 years". The judge asked him. "How come you don’t know her name?" Nasruddin answered, "Because I did not have any social relations with her."		Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came back and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, "Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn’t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn’t come back. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, "Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap."
The small and the big end		Nasruddin was planted
Once Nasruddin was asked about the end of the universe. He, instead of answering, put a question "Which end?" The person said, "How many ends are there?" He said, "When my wife dies, it was the small end and when I die, that will be the big end."		Nasruddin went to a garden. He saw the gardener planting trees. He asked, "What are you doing?" The gardener answered. "I am planting fruit trees to produce fruit in the future." Nasruddin said, "If you please plant me too. Let use see what type of fruit I produce." The gardener accepted his request and made him stand in a hole dug in the ground and started pouring soil in it till Nasruddin sunk up to the waist. After some time the chilly weather made him try to come out with a lot of difficulty and went to the gardener’s hut. The gardener asked "Why did it take so little time for you to stay there?" Nasruddin said, "In fact I didn’t like my position over there. In addition I thought that my fruit would also not be good enough to eat."
Like a person or a cow		Sacrifice is necessary
Nasruddin went to a farm to steal melon. The gardener saw him and screamed, "What are you doing?" Nasruddin told him that he had come to ease nature. The gardener came nearer and asked, "Where were you doing that?" Nasruddin looked around and saw dung of cow and pointed at that. The gardener said, "That is a cow dung" Nasruddin answered, "You didn't allow me to do it in human way".		A washer man hanged Nasruddin's shirt on a clothesline on the roof. Suddenly a strong wind started blowing. The shirt fell down on the ground. Nasruddin told his wife " We must sacrifice a goat." His wife asked the reason for sacrifice. Nasruddin answered "Because I was fortunate that i was not in the shirt".
Keep the balance		Became donkey again
Once Nasruddin was asked " Why in the morning some people go in one direction and other go in another direction?" Nasruddin said, "If they all go in one direction the equilibrium of the earth will be lost and it will not remain stable."		Nasruddin's donkey died. He collected some money with a lot of difficulties and went to the bazaar to buy another one. He was going home with the new donkey. On the way two thieves saw him. They thought of stealing the donkey. One of them removed the rope from the donkey's neck and put it in his own neck. The other thief took the donkey to the market and sold it. When Nasruddin reached home and looked behind at the donkey he saw a man "the thief" instead of the donkey and was amazed. I bought a donkey how it became a man! Nasruddin thought! Then he asked the thief "Who are you?" The thief answered, "I didn't respect my mother, she cursed me and I became a donkey." "She took me to the market and sold me. Then you bought me. But because of your blessings after talking a few steps I became a man again".

The fate I wished for		Planting Flax
1. Nasruddin was told that his wife was no more in this world. He remarked, She was a clever lady. I was thinking of divorcing her. She didn’t want me to take the trouble. She died before it happening." 2. Nasruddin was siting on the back of his donkey and was crossing a street. The donkey slipped and Nasruddin fell down on the ground. Street children gathered around him and started teasing him, "Nasruddin fell down! Nasruddin fell down!" Nasruddin, without feeling uneasy, started knocking the nearby door and said, "I have come to meet the owner of this house."		Once Nasruddin went to a hairdresser to get his head shaved. Incidentally, the barber was inexperienced. The moment he cut a part of his scalp, he would put a piece of cotton on the wound. Finally Nasruddin became angry and told the barber, "You planted cotton on half of my head. I would like to grow flax in the remaining half."
Nightingale with an unpleasant tune		An unfortunate thief
Once Nasruddin went to a garden and climbed on apricot tree. The gardener observed this and asked him, "Why did you climb someone else’s tree?" Nasruddin answered, "Don’t you know I am nightingale and for nightingales climbing a tree is not a sin." The gardener laughed and said, "Please sing so I listen and enjoy." Nasruddin started to sing in his horse voice. The gardener asked him whether nightingale sang so badly. Nasruddin replied, "A nightingale which eats raw apricot will not sing better than this."		Once a thief entered Nasruddin’s house. As soon as Nasruddin saw him, he hid himself inside a cupboard and closed the door. The thief searched the whole house, but he couldn’t find anything. He thought the valuables must have been kept in the cupboard. Therefore, he broke the door of cupboard. Instead of valuables he found a standing Nasruddin. The thief was frightened. He exclaimed in a stammering voice, " You are here!" Nasruddin answered, "Since I didn’t have valuable, I felt ashamed and hid myself here."
Nawoozobillah		In the sunshine
Once a king consulted Nasruddin. "Daring the Abasis and after, khalifs used to add the term "Allah" after their names. What title do you think I should choose for myself? Nasruddin answered "Nawoozobillah" (God forbid).		Nasruddin lost his ring inside the room. He looked for it for sometime but couldn’t find it. He left the room and started looking for it in the lawn. His wife told him, "You have lost the ring inside the room. Why are you looking for it in the lawn?" "The room is dark and it’s bright here. My eyes can see better here." He replied.
Pulling a tooth		What has been washed ?
A person asked Nasruddin, "My eye is giving me a lot of pain, How can I get rid of this pain?" Nasruddin answered, "A few days ago my tooth was aching. I pulled it out."		A person told Nasruddin "I heard your wife has gone mad." Nasruddin thought and did not answer. That person asked again, "Why are you thinking?" Nasruddin replied, "My wife never had a mind. I don’t know how she went mad?"

Nasruddin's Question		Nasruddin's Blanket
One day Nasruddin, while passing by a place, had a few apricots in his sleeve. He saw some people who were sitting under a tree. Calling them he asked a question, "if any one of you found out what I have in my sleeve, I will give the biggest apricot to him." One of them said," If any one answers this question, he must be having prophecy.		One winter night while Nasruddin was sleeping he heard a noise that was suddenly made in the street. Having covered himself with his blanket, he came out to know the cause of the noise. Suddenly a smart thief robbed him of his blanket and ran away. He came back home without the blanket. In reply to his wife who was asking about the reason for the noise, Nasruddin said, "All the quarrel was about my blanket."
Porter's wage		Quarrel on the roof-top
Nasruddin kept a load on the back of a porter in order to carry it to his house. On the way, Nasruddin lost a porter. He tried for ten days to find him but in vain. On the tenth day, while Nasruddin was going along the street with a group of friends, the same porter with a different load, attracted his attention. He addressed his friends. "This is the person I was looking for." But without questioning the porter he kept on walking. "Why didn’t you inquire about your luggage?" asked his friends. "I thought, if he asks me for wages for the extra ten days. I wouldn’t be able to pay." Nasruddin answered.		One summer night Nasruddin and his wife argued over something on the rooftop. It was leading to a quarrel. While scuffling, Nasruddin’s foot slipped and fell off the roof onto the ground. The neighbors, showing mercy to his cries, came to inquire about his health. They tried to revive the comatose Nasruddin. When he became conscious. He was asked to tell the cause. "If any one is interested to know the reason for my falling down, he should make a quarrel with my wife on the roof-top." He replied.
Nasruddin and a beggar		How has the camel come?
Once a beggar knocked at the door of Nasruddin’s house. Nasruddin was in a room on the second floor. From there he asked, "Who is knocking the door?" But the poor man asked him to open the door. Nasruddin went down stairs and opened the door. He saw a beggar demanding some money. He told the beggar to follow him upstairs. Their Nasruddin said. "May God Almighty grant you money excuse me." The beggar told him. "It is not fair. If you did not have anything to give me, you should have told me at the door." Nasruddin replied. "Is it fair? You wanted some money. Why did you ask me to go to the door?"		Nasruddin had a little money. He wanted to hide it some where. At first he dug a hole, kept the money there and covered it with soil. After a while he thought the money was not safe there because it would be discovered soon. He dug another hole and kept the money there. He repeated this action many times. But he was not sure of its security. He removed it out of the last hiding. He put the money into a bag and rode on a donkey taking the bag to a hilltop near his house. He fixed a stick vertically in the ground and from it suspended the bag. Looking at it from a distance Nasruddin commented, "Human being is not a bird to come here and steal the bag," He came back home. Incidentally a man who was watching Nasruddin from a distance took the money from the bag and poured dung of camel into it. After a few days when Nasruddin was in need of cash, he went to find the bag. When he brought the bag down from the stick, he found dung of a camel in it. He got surprised and said, "It is very interesting. How could a camel reach to a place where a person can’t?"
Only place, but no Palaw (rice)		Rescuing the moon
Once Nasruddin took his students to his house and insisted they should have lunch with him. Moment later, he called his wife and ordered her to cook Palaw for the guests as soon as possible. His wife said, "You order so simply as if you have rice and ghee in the house." Nasruddin became very angry and said: "Can’t you at least bring empty plates? His wife accepted and a few minutes later brought the plates to Nasruddin. He took the empty plates and placed them in front of the guests. "Friends!" he said, "If I had bought rice and ghee, I would have brought you an oily Palaw in these plates."		Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his hack to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, "Doesn’t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon."